Narcissistic personality disorder - is the a popular discussion nowadays, when we talk about bulling at work. But notevery bad co-worker has a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and not all bullies have a necessarily a disorder.
Let's look at some of the features of NPD:
- Lack of empathy
- belief to be entitled to special treatments and privileges
- tendency to manipulate and be abusive
- belief that to be superior
- need for excessive attention and admiration
- need to show off
Said that, we begin to think of Narcissists as someone arrogant and entitled. However, some show themselves to be humble and "do-gooders", to gain sympathy and be admired for their good attitudes and generosity.
These characteristics are very similar to Psychopathy, but there are considerable differences that only experts can differentiate.
How are their pattern of abuse?
Narcissists follow 3 phases:
1- Idealisation: gaining trust and sympathy from others through praise and charm. Yes! Narcissists are very charming and charismatic. The importance of creating an instant connection to facilitate manipulation.
2- Devaluation: comes through forms of gaslighting, triangulation and gossip. The subtle criticisms and harmless comments about your work, your results, your choices, your partner, or your lifestyle. Hence the feeling of dissatisfaction with yourself and those around you.
Gaslighting is when you start to believe in your own sanity. Your self-confidence and self-esteem begin to undermine. There's a convincing manipulation that you're imagining things you've heard or even seen. Narcissists make you believe that you are not well balanced.
Triangulation is another form of manipulation, where a third person is introduced to the situation, generating conflict. It could be another co-worker who will be involved in gossip, for example. Lying is one of the Narcissist's main weapons.
3- Discard: When the person is no longer useful, Narcissists discard them.
This unfortunately is a situation that happens frequently at work, in personal relationships, in partnership.
How to avoid and recognise a narcissist?
When someone is being abusive, it is possible to recognize the red flags and deal with them. Yes, we are always going to bump into a Narc and we’d better be prepared.
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